Two doors stand before you.
The one on your left is very large, both tall and wide. It's easy to
open and if you choose to walk through it you can take everything with
you. There is no need to clean out the garage or toss the clutter -
it will fit! You can also take ill feelings, stress and anxieties. You
can take your hopes and dreams but do not expect them to come true because
the path before you is an illusion. No matter how far or fast you walk
you will still be in the same place.
The door on your right is smaller, but also easy to open. However, there
is no room for excessive baggage. You know, those bags we stuff with
negativity, drama and resentments. You must leave these behind. Now
look ahead - the path is wide and far-reaching. When you walk through
this door you are free to experience a new beginning.
What would you like to take into your new life? Write a list of what
you would like to take and write a second list of what you don't want
to take. Then write a third list of what you know you shouldn't and
can't take, but secretly want to because you get a strange satisfaction
from things like gossip, neediness, arrogance or whatever you derive
guilty pleasure from.
Why do we hold on to damaging traits? Because we are addicted to the
feelings underneath them. If you are insecure then putting someone else
down makes you feel superior - in the moment that is. The feeling is
part of quick-fix heaven.
In order to let go of the addictive feeling we must find our sense of
security through a new sense of perception.
Example: Janice, a talented but very insecure artist, put herself and
her peers down on a regular basis. She resented when others moved to
the forefront in their careers. In an odd way, it temporarily made her
feel better when she belittled their achievements. But overall it was
locking her into a negative spiral in her own career. When she realized
what she was doing and why, she became willing to change her behavior.
Her breakthrough came when she began to let go of:
-
Judgment - of others and herself
-
Attachment - to results and outcomes
-
Control - of anything outside of herself
The
freedom and growth she has experienced since in every area of her life
is phenomenal.
Granted,
it's not easy to let go of the old and sometimes we think we have when
- "wham!" it's back again. When that happens to me I recognize the feeling.
It's like something gets caught on the barbwire inside of me. And until
I can let go of my negative attitude toward someone or something, I'm
stuck.
Hang it out to Dry
The
emotional residue of our life causes experiences to be recycled over
and over until we let go of the attachment to the feeling.
Your
feelings are like water - liquid and fluid. Remember mood rings? The
varying degrees of heat from our body caused by our "moods" (emotions)
would alter the colors in the stone. The accompanying color chart always
listed brown and black as not so good feelings. I used to vigorously
rub mine in order to change the color to a nicer mood.
Another word for it is cheating. But like water, repressed emotions
eventually surface in order for us to clean house. So when you feel
a not so nice feeling attach to your barbwire, remove it, clean up your
thoughts and hang in the sun to dry.
With
the willingness to let go of old behaviors, it will soon be time to
pack a light bag with the words "A New Beginning" stitched across the
front. Fill it with supportive friends, great health, good feelings,
creative self-expression, success, laughter and love. Open the door,
walk through and make it a great life!
© Copyright 2006 Susan
Ann Darley. All rights reserved.
COACHING - Take conscious control of your life and live
creatively in the solution.
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here to
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