As
a society we love to place a dollar price tag on our worth.
What's
a mother worth?
A
recent informal study conducted by website Salary.com in 2005 shows
that stay-at-home moms are worth $131,471 annually. However, a study
by Edelman Financial Services, Inc. in 1999, estimated a mother's worth
at $508,700 per year. I want back pay.
What's
your body worth?
Studies
conducted by the U.S. and Japan according to Cool Quiz Network, Inc.
tell us that the monetary value of the elements in our bodies combined
with the value of the average person's skin total a whopping net worth
of $4.50.
Of-course
most of us know that we can't determine our worth by money. But guess
what? We do and we often define ourselves by our salary, car, home,
clothes, looks and material circumstances.
And
then some of us define our worth by our past experiences. If we were
not valued as children, we struggle with self-worth issues later in
life.
My
stepfather told me over and over that I would grow up to be like Hazel,
our cleaning woman. Colleges were discussed with my older brothers but
not with me. I was musically inclined and thoroughly enjoyed playing
the piano, but not a supportive comment was ever made.
So
I married and had three children. And like my parents, when it came
to "my life" I looked the other way - until I divorced.
My
first job was cleaning apartments. I continued to fulfill my dad's prophecy
until one day on my hands and knees cleaning an office I looked up at
a desk chair and decided it was time for a promotion.
On
my long journey to owning my own business and using my creative gifts
I noticed that when I received kudos for my work, I could not internalize
the compliment. I once overheard a colleague say, "She doesn't want
to come. I don't think she thinks she has anything to offer." My first
thought was, "is she talking about me?"
It
took years for me to feel my value. The old tapes of worthlessness overrode
any affirmations of worth. And even though I experienced personal and
professional successes, I still carried the weight of resentment and
anger about my past. Those negative feelings affected my personal and
business relationships.
Ram
Das, an American Professor and Spiritual Teacher says, "I would like
my life to be a statement of love and compassion - and where it isn't,
that's where my work lies."
The
freedom from my past came with my willingness to practice being compassionate
and loving toward myself. Only then can it flow outward. Then it became
second nature to forgive and let go of my anger.
Do
you want a new beginning? There is one thing I know for sure - you will
not have one if you're still dragging the past with you. If you are
holding on to old tapes or beliefs that no longer serve you then the
wound of the past will never heal. The past that you want to be free
of - you will be bound to.
Try
this exercise. Write a thank you note to the antagonist. Whoever you
are angry at - even if it's yourself. It is critical that you extract
the good out of the situation. Gratitude is your tool to do so.
Next
forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. We hurt ourselves and we hurt
others. If you learn from your mistakes and become a better person because
of them, then perhaps they were not mistakes but only important lessons.
Next
become an adult and begin to give yourself what others couldn't or wouldn't.
When you can do that you will have discovered your innate worth because
when something is of value we take good care of it.
When
my son Michael was just three-years-old, he would spontaneously say
to people, "You're special." Needless to say, the recipients of his
message were delighted.
Whenever
you lose sight of your intrinsic worth, hold on to these words, "You're
special," as a reminder of your truth spoken from the heart of a child.
© Copyright 2006 Susan
Ann Darley. All rights reserved.
______________________________________________________________
COACHING - Take conscious control of your life and live
creatively in the solution.
Click
here to
learn more.
